You’ve heard of the arrangement, but did you know that there are some very important Friends With Benefits rules?
If you’re luck enough to find the right partner, you need to follow these rules to make it last as long as possible. More importantly, follow these rules so that when it does end – the friendship doesn’t have to.
I wrote earlier about finding a Friends With Benefits arrangement – you can see it by clicking here – now I just want to run down a few cardinal Friends With Benefits Rules that need to be followed if you are to find one and make it work.
If you want to skip over all the FWB Rules and just get busy finding a friend with benefits; then you can do that by visiting here.
Now these are obviously not all of the Friends With Benefits Rules – but they are the primary ones that you and your partner need to follow to the letter to keep a sweet arrangement from turning sour.
We’ve all heard the old saying that “rules are meant to be broken”. We’ve also all heard the old rule that says that there is an “exception to everything”.
The Friends With Benefits Rules:
Here’s your exceptions to the old one about breaking rules:
One of the critical friends with benefits rules, you should select someone who you typically would not even think about dating. It sounds a little strange, sure; but dating is for people who have more things in common besides just sex on demand or by request. FWB arrangements are all about the sex and uniquely about the sex; so don’t mess things up by getting hooked up with someone who you might actually have something more in common with.
Under no circumstances should you ever call, text or otherwise communicate with your FWB for any reason except to set up a meeting for sex. You don’t want to see how their day is going or tell them about yours. For a detailed reason as to why – see Rule #1.
There is no “dating” your FWB partner. You don’t just hang out together, go to the movies or to a ball game or go to see a concert – you meet up for sex – nothing more and nothing less.
It’s all about the sex – and maybe because it’s all about sex – you can’t just take it for granted that the sex is a given. Even FWB partners have off days. You need to look attractive when you visit your FWB; and you also need to keep things fun or somewhat sexy; even kind of flirty.
It is strictly prohibited that you use each other as a “stand in” – if one of you gets stiffed by your companion to the office Super Bowl party; that’s just too bad – there is nothing you can do to help with that. You can’t even try to set them up with someone you know because of Friends With Benefits rules #6:
Never introduce your FWB to your real friends or to your family as someone that you are in any way connected with. That’s too much like saying that the two of you are a “couple” and many bad things can start to break lose once you step out onto that slippery slope.
Recognize that your FWB partner will be involved with other lovers; perhaps even very seriously involved with other people. They might actually be married or in some other kind of long term relationship. Just because they still want to see you and vice versa; keep in mind that this has nothing to do with any other aspect of their life; and it has nothing to do with any other part of your life. Avoiding jealousy is the “Prime Directive” when it comes to friends with benefits rules.
Know that it is going to come to an end eventually; probably sooner rather than later. FWB relationships don’t go on forever. Truthfully, most of them end faster than they would have if both partners had just followed these simple Friends With Benefits rules of the road. If it starts to look like the end is approaching, don’t try to patch it up or try to keep it together; just let it run its course. Typically, FWB situations end with a sigh rather than with a bang – but do try to work in one final bang before you both just part ways. Don’t try to drag it out; just do what you can to help it end well.
The Upside To FWB Rules:
Sticking to these none too complicated rules will help ensure that your FWB arrangement will run smoothly and last as long as it meets the needs of you both; and then it will just end without any tears or arguments or drama.
Now as I mentioned on the last page; finding a friend with benefits can be a little tricky – think of the odds at work for two people with that same need to actually connect; it’s almost like winning the lottery or getting hit in the head by a piece of space junk falling randomly out of the sky.
In reality, it is unlikely that you will meet somebody like that where you work; it’s not very likely that you’ll hookup with someone like that at a bar or a club; and it’s damned unlikely that you’re going to meet someone like that at church or in a cooking class.
That’s why it is so important to follow the friends with benefits rules outlined here. You want to make it last as long as possible – it is a really, sweet arrangement.
But there are some places where your chances of meeting that person are very good – you just need to look in the same places where they are searching for that same kind of relationship.
Putting It Into Play:
As mentioned in my last article; if you live in an area that has swinger’s clubs or singles clubs where people go to find a casual local hookup; then you are already half way there. These are the right kind of prospects; you might only have to suggest a slight modification to their casual dating perspective.
But if you don’t have such clubs where you live; your next best bet is going to be to look online. Now you can use some of the local personals sites like Craigslist or maybe even Backpage; but a lot of the people advertising there could be a little sketchy – maybe even predatory. They could be looking to set someone up who is searching for sex because they know that they’ll find a lot of interested people; and that means potential victims for blackmail or straight up, old fashioned mugging. I have had friends who met up with people that way; and things seemed OK for a while; and then it became obvious that their partner had a whole boat load of crazy on top of their shoulder where their heads should be.
I tend to stick with the adult dating web sites where people are actively looking for casual dates for casual sex. Many of these people have filed out profiles that help you pick out promising prospects; and many of them have paid a membership fee. Funny how not always being able to do it for free discourages the scammers and the lunatics.
At any rate – if you want to go that route; you can check out a good casual hookup site by clicking here.
The main thing is that when you do find your FWB partner; be sure to follow the Friends With Benefits Rules outlined above; and you can expect a really sweet arrangement to last as long as it really should; and then it will just end and open the door for the next one.
Thanks for reading; good luck with your search.
Do check back – I update often.
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